All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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