SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
His hands were made for my vagina.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
