He kissed a someone with a penis
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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