There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
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You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
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I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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