Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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