I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
