It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
