ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
