Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Michael Bay diarrhea
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
