i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize