Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Found your dick twin last night
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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