i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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