our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
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Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
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Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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