apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
