it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
one might say we're banned from that church
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
