did you get engaged???
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
