dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
