we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My feet surprised me
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