Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize