Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
