Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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