No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
