Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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