I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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