Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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