My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
did you just send me my own nude
The struggles of a small town man whore
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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