you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
