Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
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Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
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But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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