My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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