I just pynch a tree in the face
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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