i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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