It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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