you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
