She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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