Define "chronic" masturbator.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
