idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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