the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
