No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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