The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
