take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
