well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
