Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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