Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I am one with the molecules
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
