woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We need to get me chipped asap
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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