Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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