i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
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he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
