that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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