I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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