that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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