The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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