dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm really busy with my period
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