Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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