ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
