The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
