i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
