He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
