Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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