Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
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He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
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I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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