Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I understand Curling. That high.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
