She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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